I’ve just sat through the patronising bollocks by the smug cavaliers of chaos otherwise known as Nick Clegg (loser), David Cameron (dropout) and Gordon Brown (ugly sister of a bulldog).

And I’m through with thinking which way to vote.

I’m spoiling my paper. But only in a good way: I’m going to draw one of those optical illusions with the columns and confusion rampant.

Meantime, you may be interested in considering the alternative.

Vote the UK Inspiration Party! They’re so original, they produce all their party political broadcasts at an acute angle. Now how novel is that…