The last thing I wanted to do in reality was be gratuitously predictable and call this post ‘how to chair a conference’. To tell you the truth that would have been a huge inaccuracy and misleading.
You see, as a virgin conference chairman, I made more mistakes than a blind boy judging a beauty contest. Though I do agree beauty isn’t just skin deep.
- If a conference organiser hands you a ‘script’, read it through numerous times, disregard the language entirely, and write it in your own hand and voice. What people who ‘organise’ don’t plan for is the speaker’s delivery. In much the same way as when I host web radio shows, I cannot script things out in full. I’d prepped my introduction (fluffed that but turned it round after kicking off with a gag about an SEO expert and starting to call them a ‘social’ engine optimisation expert) but all the ‘housekeeping’ details I read from the sheet rendered me a monotonous drone.
- Make sure you get a complete lowdown on the presenters’ presentations before they present. Quite an obvious one but being drafted in last minute meant my research was limited. Now I’ve experienced the challenge of mind-reading and finding it not to be one of my core strengths, the next time I do this I’ll get copies of presentations in advance so I can introduce them with the greatest of professionalism, ease and good humour
- Don’t overestimate your abilities until you’re absolutely versed in the art of chairing a conference. Though I was confident about ad-libbing on demand up until two minutes before the event, I quickly realised my powers of stand-up comedy had evaporated when the bell rang for the audience to enter the hall. I expect Robin Williams does a lot more preparation for receiving an Oscar than a quick look in the mirror to check his side parting.
- Have some seamless segues up your sleeve. Hosting a conference really is an art form. I only found out who followed who on the panel discussion minutes before it went live. What I wanted, in rattled perfectionist mode, was to have a few notes planned to take the audience effortlessly from one speaker’s presentation to the next.
- If you offer technology to the audience, have technology on the podium. “Throughout the sessions please do Tweet your questions to #ess2011…” On reflection, a tablet or device to receive said Tweets would have been a logical counterbalance.
- The little things are big things. Remembering to give the audience full opportunity to applaud speakers, to stick around between sessions, to move from the conference to the exhibition that doesn’t close for another hour… Chairing a conference really is a military operation. And it’s the little things that people remember, that get you another bite of the cherry.
- It’s not easy. There’s a lot to think about. I went in with the mindset that I’d performed in so many theatrical productions in the past and it would be a relative walk in the park. It isn’t. You need the mind of a genius and the will of a hostage negotiator. And a beautiful woman to kiss you well done when you’re through. Thankfully, I have one of three…
So now you really can do as I say, not do as I do. What a thrill, but it’s only now the homework really begins!